They Say It's a Broken Heart
by myRyRy
Summary: Chuck is adjusting to his life as Henry when he decides to check Gossip Girl to see how Blair is on her 20th birthday. What he finds might ruin his new life in Paris before it really even starts. ChuckXBlair - AU after 4.01
1. Chapter 1

_Summary: Chuck is adjusting to his life as Henry when he decides to check GG to see how Blair is on her 20th birthday. What he finds might ruin his new life before it really even gets started._

_Wasn't planning on writing this, it just kind of happened as a result of loving the premiere and some serious insomnia. :) It's Chuck and Blair of course! Please let me know if you want more of this... (This is totally unrelated to the story, but this is my plea for people who watch the show online every week to try and watch on TV. The ratings were awful and I know this show is way more popular than what it looks like, but the network will stop accepting the fact that so many people watch it online as an excuse soon. I really don't want GG canceled.)_

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1

Stretching out against the soft cotton sheets in his Parisian apartment, Henry Prince yawns in protest before finally opening his eyes and slamming his hand against his blaring alarm clock. He lets out a heavy breath before his eyes trail over to Eva at his side, and he can't help the small smile that curls his lips.

The past five months had been hard, definitely, but in a way it had been so easy at the same time. His life here as Henry was complicated by issues such as making rent or having to wake up too early for work, a far cry from his problems with indescribable heartache and powerful drugs when he was Chuck Bass. Being saved by Eva had been a breath of new life when he had been literally about to succumb to the world around him, and he couldn't be more grateful to have her in his life.

Leaning across the bed, he places a chaste kiss on her cheek, smiling at her mumbled protests as he crawls out of bed. He stands slowly and tiredly stretches his muscles in the dark apartment. He sighs and rubs his eyes before moving blindly around the room, only the faintest light peeking in through the window as the sun begins to rise.

He pulls on his uniform, still conscious of his wound as he puts on his crisp white shirt and black vest. It's still tender at times, but it's infinitely better than the constant, searing pain he'd felt the first couple months. In fact, it'd been so much better that he hadn't had to use the cane Eva had given him since way back at the end of summer.

"Henry?"

He turns towards the bed as he slides on his jacket to see his girlfriend, his savior, looking up at him through tired eyes.

"I love you."

He smiles, because he's happy. Truly he is. He's never been so stress free and carefree and simply content just being alive. His smile turns into a grin as he crosses the room and leans in to kiss her on the lips.

"I love you too," he tells her, ignoring the way it rolls off his tongue so easily but still doesn't make his stomach flutter or his pulse race the way it did when he told a feisty brunette living on the other side of the Atlantic.

Pulling back, he starts towards the door and straightens his jacket. "I'll bring back dinner tonight from the restaurant," he promises as he leaves, smiling as she blows him as kiss as he leaves.

Working is different here than it ever was for him in New York, that's for sure. He gets annoyed at times with the menial job of being a simple bus boy because he knows he could be doing so much more, but that's the sacrifice he's made to live the life he does now. He avoids his co-workers and only really speaks to the owner, Eva's uncle Louis, when he's on his breaks. He just wants the rest of the world to leave him alone, which is why he can't help but be put off when customers bother him.

"Excusez-moi?"

Looking up from wiping a table, him eyes land on an older woman looking up at him expectantly.

"Do you happen to know the date?" she asks haughtily in her extremely thick French accent.

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "November four-" he begins to answer off-handedly before he stutters suddenly, his heart thudding in his chest as the date lands on him, "-teenth."

The woman looks at him strangely, muttering a _merci_ before she turns back to her meal but he doesn't even notice.

Standing frozen in the middle of the restaurant, his eyes stare sightlessly ahead.

November 14th; Blair's birthday.

He frowns as he is suddenly assaulted with thoughts of a girl he'd tried so hard to push to the back of his mind. He remembers last year on her birthday, they had been dating and in love and spent the whole day wrapped up in each other in bed.

He wonders how she is celebrating today.

"Prince!"

Snapping from his thoughts, he looks up and sees Eva's uncle watching him in concern.

"You okay, son?"

He nods and forces a smile. "I'm fine, Louis."

"Well look alive then, Prince," the jovial man commands him. "The day is just beginning!"

A hollow laugh escapes his lips as he tiredly gets back to work.

The more he stays here, the more he has been able to forget about his old life. He hadn't had any horrific dreams in a weeks and he couldn't be more thankful. He's Henry Prince now, and after he'd bought a passport and birth certificate with his new name on it, he'd promised himself he would never go back and he'd never think about his old life again, but it's suddenly impossible.

He wipes tables and keeps them set, but while he moves about, his mind can't get off of Blair.

He wonders if she is having a party, and if so, where. He thinks of the Hudson, Rose Bar, or even her mother's penthouse. If he were in New York, he'd probably be getting ready to go celebrate with her; but he knows that's just wishful thinking. He knows if he were really in New York he'd probably be getting ready to do a line and call one of the girls from his little black book because Blair still wouldn't be speaking to him.

The rest of the day passes by painfully slow as he tries not to think of a girl who broke his heart, and he hers. It's impossible though and he leaves the cafe that day with a heavy heart.

He walks with a full mind out of the cafe and heads aimlessly through the city. He realizes after awhile that he's forgotten the dinner he promised Eva and he's ended up on the wrong side of the city. In the back of his mind though, he knows this is where he was headed the whole time as he stops in front of an internet cafe. He steps through the door and his knee taps anxiously as he waits for the computer to load the internet.

Hesitating, he rethinks if he really wants to do this. It doesn't matter what it says online, he can't go back. He won't go back and maybe seeing her face again will make all this so much more complicated. At this point though, he doesn't think he can help it. He needs to see her smiling face again, just to see that she's okay so he can go on with his life here in Paris without her. He takes a deep breath and types in the address and watches nervously as the Gossip Girl website loads on the screen.

It doesn't take long for him to find a story about her, in fact the first post on the page is. There's no pictures, which is a disappointment, but as his eyes skim over the story he can't help the sense of dread that fills him up and settles in his bones.

_B turns twenty today and here's hoping that means she will finally grow up and realize there's no such thing as fairy tales. Prince Charming turns out to be dull, kisses don't fix everything, and no one lives happy ever after. It's time to come home and accept the fact that sometimes Romeo dies and Juliet has to pick up the pieces and move on. At least if you came home, B, you'd have some shiny new presents from Tiffany's to comfort you. But happy birthday, B. Wherever you are…._

His brow furrows in confusion as he rereads the post. What is she talking about? Where is Blair?

He doesn't hesitate to go to search and find all blasts that mention Blair Waldorf. As soon as they load, he is even more thrown off when he sees the last post before today was from over a month ago.

_I know we've all heard that B off this semester to stay with her father, but I've got it on good authority that instead of drowning her sorrows at her father's chateau, she's really checking in and out of every five star hotel from here to Tokyo. I know I'm not usually one to have a heart, but I can't help but wish you would let it go for your own sanity, B. It's been months, and with a body in the ground, I think it's time to accept the fact that you're not going to run into the mother-chucker cooling his heels in Monaco waiting for you to find him. Just come home, B. I know S is lonely at Columbia without her BFF._

A sick weight drops in his stomach. He can't believe what he's reading.

He goes back to the search and immediately types in his own name; his _old_ name, Chuck Bass. The first blast he sees is from early September and immediately he feels nauseous at what he sees.

_1991-2010_

_It seems all the rumors are true. The king has fallen, leaving a billion dollars, a closet full of perfectly tailored suits, and a plethora of broken hymens and hearts behind. Oh C, you were meant for so much more than a lonely demise in France, but I guess you always knew how to leave everyone wanting more. And what of queen B? Seems she's still in denial, refusing to leave France to come back to the city for the funeral. Poor, B. Hopefully her royal subjects will be able to talk some sense into her before it's too late._

He stares at the screen in absolute disbelief.

What did he expect everyone to think? He disappeared without a trace but it's not like that's never happened before. Actually, he should be relieved he is considered dead because that means no one is looking for him.

Except Blair it seems.

He closes the website, unable to read anymore.

Could she really be out looking for him?

While he was recovering, he'd spent a great amount of time contemplating what would have happened if he had died. Honestly, he thought it would have been justice if he had died on that street and had believed that would have been a popular opinion amongst those in his old life, even Blair.

He takes a shuttering breath and rubs his hands against his face.

He broke her heart, he _ruined_ her. Why would she care that much? Why wouldn't she just go on with her life?

Pushing himself away from the computer, he makes a hasty exit from the cyber-cafe and walks out into the streets, his head hung low and his heart heavy.

He wishes he had never gone to that website. He should have just gone home to Eva after work, brought her dinner like he promised, and spent the night in bed with her. Now, though, he can't get thoughts of regret and pain and Blair out of his head.

He walks into the small apartment he shares with his girlfriend and she is immediately calling out to him.

"Thank god your home," she smiles, as she puts down her book and crawls off the worn couch in the corner. "I'm starving."

He tries to smile but it comes off as more sad than happy. "Sorry," he mutters as he takes off his jacket, "I forgot about dinner."

Eva laughs and shakes her head at him. "That's alright," she assures him as she comes up and wraps her arms around his waist. "I'll find something around here to make us."

He doesn't respond and simply looks at the ground and tries to move away from her.

She frowns following him across the room. "Is something wrong?"

He meets her gaze uneasily, and he wants to lie. He wants to forget about Gossip Girl and Blair and everything and just stay here with this girl forever. It'd be so easy to live here in France and be someone he is not. But maybe all of this was too much. Maybe he shouldn't have stuck with this hasty decision he made to be Henry Prince when he woke up after he was shot. He used to be a coward and a bastard. He used to be able to sit by while someone suffered and even occasionally take pleasure in their pain. But not anymore and not definitely not when that someone is Blair.

He has to do something about this.

"Eva," he begins softly, wrapping her hand up in his. "I…" he trails off, meeting her big blue eyes, so full of love and he feels awful for what he's about to do. "There's something you should know..."

–––

She snaps her phone shut in a huff after she reads her birthday blast from Gossip Girl.

What does that gossiping bitch know?

Nothing.

Blair knows Chuck is alive and she isn't going to just stop trying to find him because of something some stupid whore with a website says, or what anyone else does for that matter.

She drops her phone onto the bed and quickly moves about her hotel room, picking up the few items she bothered to unpack and putting them back into her Louis Vuitton suitcase. Stepping quickly into the bathroom she pulls some powdered foundation from her makeup case and brushes just enough to make herself presentable before putting her toiletries away as well.

Sighing she lets herself study her reflection for longer than she has in months and she barely recognizes herself. The bags under her eyes are so deep she's worried they might be permanent and her hair is dull and limp and simply hangs there. She's still slightly horrified that she's wearing jeans on an almost daily basis now, (designer ones of course, but still- ew!), and a plain black top hangs from her thin shoulders. Traveling with only one suitcase though, something she never thought she'd do, really left her no room for anything extraneous and non-essential which basically describes her whole wardrobe.

It's the look on her face, though, that truly doesn't resemble Blair Waldorf. She looks so lost and so _so_ broken, but at the same time, completely detached from the world around her.

The ringing of her cell phone in the other room snaps her out of her daze. Grabbing up her make-up case, she moves quickly to the other room and drops it into her suitcase before reluctantly answering her phone.

"What?"

"Happy birthday, B," Serena's voice coos gently across the line, making Blair roll her eyes.

Since the moment this all started, everyone talked to her as if she would shatter at any moment. But she wouldn't break, she was stronger than that. Plus, she had no reason to break, Chuck was fine. She'd show everyone.

"What do you want, S? I'm kind of in a hurry," she barks impatiently.

"Oh? Off to somewhere new again?" Serena asks, trying to sound upbeat. " Maybe Rome? Budapest?" she wonders, pausing before adding hopefully, "New York?"

Blair sighs. "Serena…"

"What? Is it so terrible for your best friend to want to see you on your birthday?" Serena asks innocently. "If you came back, we could have Dorota set up a big party for you at the Hudson for tomorrow night. I mean, it would be a day late, but your turning twenty. You deserve a big party and-"

"Look, I don't really have time for this right now, so.." Blair interrupts in annoyance, about to just hang up.

"Wait! B!"

Silently, Blair obliges, but crosses her arms and taps her foot as she waits and her best friend sigh on the other end of the line.

"Don't you think… Don't you think it's time you stop all this?" Serena cautiously and softly tries to get her friend to see the truth for the fiftieth time. "I mean, it's been three months since the funeral. And I know you weren't there, but you saw the body when.."

"I know, S!" Blair snaps in frustration.

She had seen the body they had buried when Lily sent her and Serena to ID it. It had been so badly decomposed it was unrecognizable, but it wasn't him. She knew it wasn't Chuck and she'd told everyone that would listen, screamed it at them all, begged them to believe her, but no one did. Serena could barely look but for some reason said it was his body and Lily couldn't bare to have him prodded and hurt anymore with DNA tests, so that was it. The body was buried next to Bart in New York and no one listened to her because they all thought she was delusional with heartache.

"But that wasn't him!" she tells her friend firmly. "I know you don't believe me, no one does, but it wasn't him. That was not Chuck!"

"Okay, okay," Serena tries to calm down her friend, letting out a heavy breath. "But if it wasn't him, where is he? Why hasn't he come back to New York? Or called even?"

Blair doesn't have an answer as tears slowly start running down her cheeks.

"Just come home, B."

Shaking her head to herself, Blair hastily starts wiping her tears away, composing herself. "I have to go, S."

"Okay," Serena concedes gently. "I'll call y-"

Blair hangs up on her best friend and drops the phone onto the bed. Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she wills herself not to cry. Her bottom lip trembles and her knees feel weak, but she can't break down right now. She takes a few deep breaths and counts to ten, before opening her eyes once again feeling as calm as she possibly can right now.

She steps forward and quickly zips her luggage before picking up her jacket and pulling it on. Tucking her bag under her arm, she gets her train ticket from the bedside table and reaches for her phone, when an idea occurs to her. Maybe it's time she goes off the radar for a while. She doesn't need Gossip Girl, Serena or her family breathing down her neck right now, it's just making this so much harder than it has to be.

She drops her cell phone into a trash bin on her way out of the hotel and immediately hails herself a taxi. She needs to move quickly if she's going to stop at the bank to get enough cash to last her a few weeks before her train leaves.

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_TBC...? Let me know what you think. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Summary: Chuck is adjusting to his life as Henry when he decides to check GG to see how Blair is on her 20th birthday. What he finds might ruin his new life before it really even gets started._

_Thank you guys for all of the reviews! I know a couple people said they didn't like the fact that Chuck said I love you, but I think it's completely natural that Chuck would say that after living with a woman who saved his life for six months, especially when he thinks his life with Blair is over forever. I mean, this guy was ready to run off and move to a different continent with that Elle chick because he loses himself in other relationships when he's trying to run from Blair. Plus, and most importantly, there are different ways of loving people. I appreciate people speaking out on that tho- any thoughts you have on this I'd love to hear as well! :)_

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2

It's another day, another city, and somehow Blair holds out hope that it won't be the same outcome here as in all the others.

She checks into a hotel but barely stays five minutes, just long enough to drop off her bags, before she's gone again.

This has all become routine at this point. She walks down the streets with nothing but a tiny clutch grasped in her hand and steps into every bar and nightclub she can find. It's mid-afternoon, so the establishments are nearly empty except for the owners and the bartenders getting ready for their nightly business.

Reaching into her clutch, she pulls out the only picture of him she had allowed herself to bring with her when she left home at the beginning of summer. He's smirking, of course, and his signature scarf hangs from his shoulders, and every time she looks at it, it breaks her heart a little bit more.

"Have you seen this man?" she asks hopefully, handing over her beloved photograph.

She studies the man's face for some flash of recognition because she doesn't trust anyone. She knows Chuck has to be paying someone off to be able to hide so well, without even any PIs being able to find him. But no sign of recollection shows and the grimy club owner shakes his head and her shoulders drop with the weight of yet another disappointment.

She continues to walk through the city like a lost child, searching everywhere there is even a chance he could be. Her wide eyes stare tiredly ahead of her as she passes by people on the street, not even noticing the appreciative looks and cat calls she gets from many of the European men.

The sun has long since set by the time she heads back to her hotel room. It's not nearly as nice as the ones she's been staying in throughout this awful trip, but it's worth it to stay some where less expensive if it allows her live off the cash she withdrew and stay under the radar for a little while. She just wants to be left alone for awhile.

Dropping onto the hard, uncomfortable bed, Blair lets out a shaky breath as the crushing disappointment of coming up empty in yet another city lands on her. She hates to admit it but she is running out of places to look. She'd been running from city to city since the moment summer ended three months ago and soon she'll be back in Paris where this all began. She hopes and prays that she'll find Chuck before she goes back there because if she doesn't, she's not sure what she'll do.

What she does know, though, is that she can't go back to New York without Chuck by her side. She just can't.

It'd be like giving up; admitting that he's gone when she knows in her heart that he's not. He's out there somewhere and she will find him and bring him home with her if it's the last thing she does.

Blair lays back against the bed as a few stray tears helplessly escape her eyes.

It's been almost six months since she's been at home and every day since she left has been a struggle. The whole summer she was trying to hide her broken heart and forget about him, and once she finally admitted to Serena how badly she was broken and how much everything hurt she thought she'd start getting better.

Instead, the next day Chuck had been declared dead.

If she thought she was in pain before, she had no idea what she was talking about. Now, she is completely shattered. Her heart is in pieces and there is only one thing that she knows will put those pieces back together, and that's finding Chuck.

But if she doesn't…

She rolls onto her side and shakes with silent sobs.

What if Serena is right? She couldn't deny that Serena had a point. If Chuck really was okay- why hadn't he called? Where was he? What if he really is…

She clenches her jaw shut and pushes herself up in bed.

No. She will not think like that.

She desperately wipes her eyes and forces herself to cry.

She can't give up- she won't. Chuck is her other half. No matter how mad at him she was all summer, no matter how much she just wanted to forget him and get over him forever, he was still supposed to be there. There was still supposed to be the possibility of one day, but if she gives up then there's no more hope of a future, just regrets and a bunch of what if's she never wants to ask herself.

Standing up she tells herself she's just tired. It's been a long day, a long few months, and she just needs to relax. She decides to take a nice, long, warm bath and promises herself she'll order some room service afterwards.

She has to regroup and pull herself together because tomorrow is another day, which means another city awaits.

–––

Chuck leans heavily against the railing as he looks thoughtfully down at the Seine as it flows beneath the bridge. It's late, very late, and the lights of Paris are glowing across the horizon and shining against the water with a warm glow.

He had left Eva back at their apartment after revealing he wasn't Henry Prince, but instead Chuck Bass. Suprisingly she hadn't seemed upset. In fact she seemed to expect their relationship to be a sham of some kind. She'd let him leave to deal with his past and he'd promised her that this wasn't the end. Once the world knew Chuck Bass was still alive, and Blair was free to get back to her life and go back to hating him with all of her being, he'd come back for Eva. Since the moment she'd saved his life, he'd believed she was future, and really even once people know he's not dead, he still doesn't have a future in New York.

He pulls the cheap, prepaid cell phone he'd been using the last few months out of his pocket and takes a deep breath before dialing a number he knows by heart.

He's nervous, more nervous than he's been in his whole life, but he knows he has to do.

It rings and rings and his heart thumps with anticipation, because really he has no idea what he is going to say to her, but apparently it doesn't matter. The click of her voicemail picks up and he's not sure if he's relieved or disappointed, but the second her voice plays on the line his heart jumps into his throat.

"You've reached Blair Waldorf. Obviously, I'm busy or I would have answered but leave a message anyway and maybe I'll have time to call you back later."

He smiles to himself at the sound of her sweetly annoyed tone reciting her familiar message and he takes a deep breath in preparation as it comes to an end. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, when something happens on the other end that never has before. Suddenly three beeps play in rapid succession before a robotic tone comes over the line informing him that her mailbox is full.

Frowning, he pulls the phone back from his ear and stares at it in confusion, his heart suddenly thumping not in nervousness, but in worry.

He looks back out at the city and wonders what to do next. He could go to Eleanor and Cyrus's, he knows where they live only a few blocks away, but that doesn't sound like a good idea. He could call Nathaniel or Serena, but he doesn't even understand why neither of them is with Blair, making sure she is okay, so he doesn't know if they are all talking at this point. So instead, he calls the only person he knows, or hopes rather, will help him no matter what.

"Hello?"

He takes deep breath, his emotions on high.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Lily.."

Absolute silence rings out on the other end of the line and his heart races.

"Lily. It's.."

"Ch-Charles?" she stutters in utter disbelief.

A melancholy smile ghosts over his lips. "Yes, Lily.. It's me."

"Oh my god," she mumbles to herself. "Oh my god! Charles?"

He hears her let out a sob on the other end of the line and his stomach drops with guilt and sadness.

"What.. Where.." she mutters, a million question running to her mind.

"Lily, I-" he starts and hears muffled voices on the other end of the line, and hears his step-mother tell whoever she's with that it's him on the other end of the line before her attention turns back to him.

"Where are you?" she barks quickly, her voice shaky. "Are you hurt? Are you in trouble?"

He considers mentioning the shooting but decides against it. There is time to talk about all of that later. "I'm fine," he assures her gently.

"Well were are you?" she questions in frantic concern. "I'll send the Bass jet to pick you up immediately and bring you home where you belong."

"I'm afraid I can't come home just yet," he tells he her gently.

"Why not? You need to come home, Charles," she demands tearfully. "Don't you understand? We all thought you were de-" she stops herself abruptly and he can hear her sharp intake of breath. "Oh my god," she breathes, "Blair."

He swallows painfully at the mention of her name. "That's why," he answers simply, his voice raspy with emotion. "Where is she Lily? I need to find her."

"I'm not sure," she answers sadly, "Hold on."

He can hear her start speaking to someone else quietly before there is some rustling on the other end of the line.

"..Chuck?"

He frowns in sadness when he hears his step-sister's tearful voice on the line. "Serena." She sobs and he doesn't exactly know how to handle all this emotion from his former family from just hearing from him. He definitely wasn't expecting it.

"Chuck! You bastard!" she cries across the line and he can hear the relief in her watery voice. "Are you really okay?"

"I'm fine," he assures her quickly, "but I have to know where Blair is."

"How'd you know she's gone?" Serena asks quietly.

"I checked Gossip Girl because I wanted to see how she was on her birthday. When I read what was on there though…" he let out a heavy breath. "I just need to find her, S."

Serena doesn't hesitate to give in, knowing her step-brother was the key to bringing back her best friend. "She was in Barcelona until this morning, but she was leaving to go somewhere else."

"Where?"

"I don't know," she admits reluctantly and his heart falls. "She hasn't been picking up her phone this afternoon, but I could call Harold and have him check his credit card to see where she is staying tonight?"

His heart soars a little with that hope. "Thank you."

There's movement on the other end of the line and he finds himself on the line with his step-mother again.

"Oh, Chuck, she's going to be so happy to know you're okay," Lily explains erratically. "She was the only one who believed that you were okay." She pauses and sniffles. "I'm so sorry that we stopped looking for you, but there was a body found with your ID..."

He sighs to himself because he couldn't feel more guilty if he tried. His whole body hurts with the ache of what he knows Blair must be feeling; he knows how he would feel if he thought she were dead.

"I was robbed," he explains, not going in to detail. "I never meant for you to think I was dead," he tells his step-mother honestly. "If I knew.."

"I know, Charles," Lily interrupts him in understanding. "I just can't even describe how relieved I am to know you are okay."

He smiles to himself, a warm feeling in his stomach at his almost-mother's words.

"But where have you been this whole time? Why haven't you been in touch with anyone?"

"I've been in Paris," he tells her quickly, "and I promise to explain everything to you later, but right now, I really just need to find Blair."

"I understand. Promise me though that you'll come back with her."

He looks out across the city and thinks of Blair and Eva and New York and finds himself nodding. "I promise."

Serena's voice starts muffled on the other end of the line and he frowns at the fact that he can't hear her, but he can hear the concerned tone in Lily's voice. "What? Is he sure?"

"What's going on?" he questions uneasily.

"Harold says there is no charges on his credit for any hotel tonight or any charges at all today," Lily explains. "Except it looks like Blair took out 7,000 dollars in cash this afternoon."

His blood instantly runs cold. "What?"

"And he said tried to call her this afternoon to wish her Happy Birthday and she never called him back."

His stomach drops in worry, remembering that her voice mail had been full when he called. "So no one has any idea where she is?" There is only silence on the other end of the line and it does nothing to calm his nerves. No matter how strong and smart Blair is, she shouldn't be by herself in a foreign city; it just isn't safe. He sets his jaw and quickly formulates a plan, his concern forcing him into protective mode.

"Call your PI and tell them everything you know. I'm going to look for her."

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_TBC...? Let me know how you are feeling this one, I'm still unsure of it. :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Summary: Chuck is adjusting to his life as Henry when he decides to check GG to see how Blair is on her 20th birthday. What he finds might ruin his new life before it really even gets started._

_Wow you guys, thank you sooo much for the review on this story! It's kinda different story for me and yeah.. I hope that the fact that it took me a little bit to update hasn't lost you guys lol. Please let me know what you think, I really appreciate the feedback with this story, good or bad, it's all really constructive._

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3

Blair wearily pulls her head up from where it rests against the window as the train slowly rolls to a stop. All around her, happy, excited travelers gather up their things and prepare to get off, but she can't seem to move. Her stomach turns sick with dread as she watches the car empty around her until she is the only one left.

She can't be back here already.

Paris the first city she looked for him, the city where that body was found those few months ago that feel like forever. After this there's no where else to look. If she can't find him here then..

"Miss?"

She snaps out of her thoughts to see the conductor standing over her, a look of annoyance etched on his face as he gestures around the empty cab. She can't even manage a glare at the man as she sighs and forces herself to stand. She quickly slings her purse on her shoulder and grips her suitcase in her hand being pushing her way past the frustrated conductor.

Stepping off the train, she looks around the old city and forces all negative thoughts to the back of her mind. For all she knows, maybe Chuck has been here the whole time, she just missed him the first time around and the whole summer she was here with Serena. She straightens her shoulders and takes a deep breath before moving forward. She'll find him here.

Her first stop, of course, is to drop off her luggage at a low class hotel before she's off into the city. It's a routine that Blair's gone through time and time again, almost every day for the past three months as she went from city to city. First, she stops at the hospitals, her beloved, now worn, photograph of her ex-boyfriend clasp in her hands. After denials there, she moves onto the bars and cafes and basically anywhere that serves liquor.

The sun is setting as she walks down one of the streets in a district of Paris she knows Chuck would never frequent. She's already checked every place she could think of on the right bank, though, leaving her to either look on the left bank or give up and accept defeat. So she continues on because she can't face the alternative and walks into a small wine bar and moves straight to the counter.

"Excuse me?" she calls out with a polite smile.

Immediately a large, jolly man with grey hair, wild with curls, turns to face her. He makes his way to her, greeting her with warm smile. "What can I help you with, mademoiselle? A table?" he questions quickly, not waiting for an answer before looking away and waving over someone from across the room. "Eva! Could you please escort this young lady to a seat?"

"No, no. I don't need a table," Blair tells him with a shake of her head as a blonde waitress comes to stand next to the grey haired man. "I'm actually just trying to find someone. He has an intimate relationship with alcohol so I'm checking all the bars," she explains before pulling the photo from the back of her jeans pocket and handing it over the man. A hopeful smile curls her lips as she watches the intensity with which the man, as well as the waitress, study at the photo. "I've been looking for him for a long time, so if you know anything-"

"We haven't seem him," the blonde suddenly answers, cutting her off.

Blair's face falls. "Are you sure?" she prods, not giving up. "I mean if he's come in here at all then.."

"I'm sure," the woman confirms, a sad smile on her lips that Blair immediately reads as pity.

She forces herself to straighten as her lips harden into a thin line and she tries not to lash out at the girl. She doesn't need pity, least of all from such a lowly girl as this one. Blair turns her attention to the man and tries one last time. "And what about you?" she asks, trying to be as polite as possible because this is the only time she's gotten anything more than a brushoff and she needs to know if she's found something.

The man sighs, looking at the picture and back at the waitress, before shaking his head. "I'm sorry," he tells her, the same look of sad sympathy on his face.

She huffs and it's all she can do from exploding at finding herself at another dead end. Reaching forward, she all but rips the photo from the man's hand before stomping right out of the tiny bar into the now dark streets.

There's still a bunch of bars and cafes left for her to check but decides to stop for the night anyway, partly because of how exhausted she is, but even more so because she just can't face coming to the end of her search just yet.

–––

"Still nothing?" he huffs into his shotty, prepaid cell phone as he walks down the streets of Lyon.

It's been six days since Chuck left Paris in search of Blair and he'd come up empty handed at every turn, and apparently his PI had too. The last place anyone knew for sure she had been was Barcelona and the GPS on her cell phone had led this investigator to a trash can, meaning she most likely didn't even want to be found at this point since she'd thrown out her only line of communication.

"Well call me the second you find anything," he barks into the phone before hanging up. He drops his cell into his pocket before stuffing his hands in as well.

He hadn't immediately gone to Barcelona because according to Serena, Blair was slowly making her way back to Paris. Going to Spain would have just left him constantly one step behind her, because apparently Blair never spends more than a day in a city which is so hectic and tiring that he already feels exhausted.

Chuck can't believe she's been living like this, but then he thinks what he would do if he thought Blair was dead, and he can't even begin to fathom what that would cause him to do. At the same time though, Blair hates him, which confuses this whole situation for him even more. All he knows for sure is that he has to find her because he can't stand the thought of Blair hurting or getting hurt because of him yet again.

He walks into a dimly lit club on the outskirts of town, the last one he will check in this city. Immediately he makes his way to the bar, wasting no time before getting right to business.

"I'm trying to find this girl," he tells the bartender as he pulls out a folded piece of paper. He didn't have any pictures of his own of Blair with him since the thieves had stole his wallet where he kept a photo of the two of them together, so he'd had to print one off of Gossip Girl. "If you've seen her at all," he starts as he hands over the photo, "any information you could give me would be great."

The bartender barely glances at it before dropping the photo on the counter and shaking his head. "Can't help you," he tells him with a shrug before turning away.

Chuck sighs in frustration dropping his head into his hand for a moment as he tries to collect himself.

"Hey, I remember her."

Immediately Chuck perks up, snapping his head up and looking hopefully towards the voice to see a barmaid where the bartender had just been standing. "You do? She was here?"

The woman nods quickly as she clears some dirty glasses off the bar.

"When?" he all but demands, his heart racing at the prospect that he just might be on the right track.

"Ummm.." she mumbles, tapping her chin as she thinks. "I'm not sure; maybe three or four days ago? Time kind of blends together here."

Chuck's face falters as he realizes how far behind her he is, before he absentmindedly looks around the bar. It's almost all men in there, drunk out of their minds, ogling the scantily clad waitresses, and even openly doing drugs at a couple of the tables. Instantly, he finds himself sick with disgust at the thought of Blair here at all; even more so _alone_.

"Did she say anything?" he asks of the barmaid, trying to find out anything he can.

She shakes her head softly. "She was only here for a few minutes, asking if we'd seen someone. She had a picture of some guy," she trails off, furrowing her brow before it dawns on her. "Of you!," she exclaims, laughing to herself. "Once we told her we hadn't seen you, she left. She's probably long, long gone by now."

He lets out a heavy breath, because he figured that out on his own. He doesn't thank the woman, or even acknowledge her presence for a second longer as he scoops up the picture and quickly stomps his way back out of the bar.

His phone rings in his pocket as he steps back onto the sidewalk and his fingers fumble as he races to answer the phone.

"Hello?" he breathes, his heart hopeful for any information on Blair.

"Henry?"

He frowns as his heart drops at the voice on the other end of the line that is definitely not his PI.

"Or.. Chuck, I mean."

A small, melancholy smile curls his lips at the sound of Eva's voice. Her voice always calmed him; when he would wake up in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking from nightmares, she always cooed him back to reality. He waits for the warm feeling in his stomach he always got when he lived as Henry Prince with her, but ever since he'd left the sanctity of that life, she didn't have the same effect.

"Eva," he drawls across the line as he wanders down the street in the direction of his hotel. "I'm surprised to hear from you so late."

"Well I just wanted to check up on you before I head off to bed," she tells him quietly. "Any leads?"

"Not really," he admits dejectedly. "They had seen her at the bar I just left, but that was a few days ago. Who knows how far she could have gotten by now."

"Well I'm sure you'll find her soon," Eva assures him hesitantly.

He sighs and his shoulders slump. "I hope so," he mumbles more to himself than her, and then a few beats of silence pass between them, making his brow furrow. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," she answers immediately. "Everything is fine."

"Good," he tells her gently as he reaches his hotel. He pauses outside, leaning against the brick building. "As soon as this is all straightened out, I'll be back, okay?"

"Okay," she agrees, but doesn't sound all that sure.

"I just have to fix this," Chuck explains. "I have to make sure she is okay."

Eva lets out a heavy breath on the other end of the line. "You're a good man, Chuck Bass. Too good."

He frowns and looks down at the dirty ground, his stomach twisting because this girl doesn't know the half of it. If anything, she's too good for him; a perfect angel without an evil bone in her body who came into his life and saved him. One day, he'll probably break her too, just like he broke Blair, but he's determined to try as hard as he can not to.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he tells her gently.

"Okay."

He goes to hang up when her soft, pleading voice stops him.

"Chuck? I.."

"What is it?"

He can hear her breathing unevenly on the other end as she pauses and sniffles.

"Eva," he breathes guiltily, sure that she is crying. "Whatever is going on, you can tell me."

"It's just… I.." she stutters. "I- I love you."

He swallows and his mind goes blank as his stomach sinks for reasons unbeknownst to him. "You too," he mutters before quickly hanging up.

He frowns as he looks at the phone in his hands for a long moment, wondering what just happened, before he decides to shake it off and forget it for now. Right now all of his thoughts need to go to Blair and doing everything he can to find her.

Pushing away from the side of the building, Chuck makes his way to the entrance and heads inside. He's staying at a lower end hotel because he's been reluctant to go back to his full life as Chuck Bass just yet. The carpet smells and no one is there to hold open doors for him, but honestly, he still finds the simple life a little bit refreshing.

He steps into the hotel room and collapses onto the bed in exhaustion. It's so late, way past two in the morning, and his whole body is just screaming out for sleep. His mind, however, is not cooperating. He can't stop his thoughts even for a moment as he lays on the uncomfortable box-spring mattress.

Thoughts of Blair and Eva, of New York and Paris, of lost diamond rings and bullet wounds swarm in his head until he can't take it anymore. He pushes himself off the bed and grabs up the one small piece of luggage he has before exiting his room, deciding he can't just stay in one place until he finds Blair. Maybe he can catch a few minutes of sleep on the train to Bourges.

* * *

_TBC... Let me know what you think, good, bad, or just that you're reading. :) I really appreciate the feedback._


	4. Chapter 4

_Summary: Chuck is adjusting to his life as Henry when he decides to check GG to see how Blair is on her 20th birthday. What he finds might ruin his new life before it really even gets started._

_I am so sorry this story hasn't been updated in so long! I really appreciate all the feeback I have gotten on previous chapters and I hope a few people maybe still remember this story. :)_

* * *

4

Chuck watches the dreary scenery pass by as he anxiously awaits the trains arrival at his stop.

Every second feels like he's falling even further behind. Every minute feels like another minute lost in his desperate search for Blair.

He taps his knee uneasily as the train starts to slow as it pulls in to Bourges. It's not that far from the last city he had searched, the only place anyone had recognized her picture, and according to the waitress it had been at least three days since she had been there. He is so far behind it seems hopeless but he has to find her. He has to make this right. He can't stand to hurt her anymore and the longer this goes on the longer he knows she's hurting. She's all alone, has been for months, because of him.

He's come up short at every turn. Every place he's been, he's always a few steps behind. It seems as though he'll never be able to catch up to her.

He knows where she's headed though and for some reason it suddenly clicks that that is where he needs to go right now.

A few passengers start to exit and the conductor begins to pace up and down the aisle. Chuck doesn't move though, a new destination in his sights.

"Sir? I believe this is your stop."

He looks at the man standing over him and confidently shakes his head. He digs into his pocket and pulls out his money clip, quickly slipping him a few crisp bills.

"I believe my ticket was for Paris," Chuck says smoothly, a charming smirk on his lips as he stares him down.

The conductor fingers the money before slowly nodding and pocketing the bribe. "I'm sorry, sir. I must have been mistaken."

Chuck sighs as he walks away, getting comfortable in his seat as he readies himself for another long train ride. He rests his head against the cool glass window and hopes with all he has that he's making the right decision to go straight to Paris. He has to find her soon.

–––

Her fingers grasp tight to the wrinkled picture in her grasp and she can feel the tears building behind her eyes, but she can't give in. Not yet.

She walks down the street like she's walking to her execution, and in some sense, that's exactly what she's doing.

The day is running out and the sun is hanging low and there is only one more place for her to check before there's nothing left.

Blair steps into the small, run down bar on shaky feet, and slowly makes her way to the counter.

"Excuse me?" she quietly calls out to the bartender.

He looks up at her from where he stands washing out glasses and immediately grins at the sight of her. "How can I help you?" he questions with a thick accent.

"Um- I was.. I was just wondering," she stutters anxiously before she holds out her beloved picture with a trembling hand, "have you seen this man?"

The bartender eyes her curiously before his eyes sweep across the picture.

He shakes his head and her whole world seems to shatter.

Tears slip helplessly down her cheeks and she doesn't even hear him try to pacify her with polite apologies.

She can't breathe. She can't think.

She numbly stumbles backwards as though she's been punched before turning and rushing from the bar as fast as she can. When she steps out onto the sidewalk though, she abruptly stops. She stares blankly to her left, then looks to her right, and realizes she doesn't know where to go now.

There's nowhere left to look. Nowhere left to go.

It's over.

He's _gone_.

–––

The train comes to a stop in Paris and Chuck is startled awake at the sudden jolt. He immediately starts taking quick, deep breaths, trying to quell the rapid beating of his heart.

He'd had a nightmare. The first one he'd had in weeks.

Usually they consisted of Blair slapping him and walking away or screaming at him to never speak to him again, always as she cried over him hurting her yet again.

This time, though, it was different.

This one hurt. It was even more painful than getting shot and it terrified him to his core. But as he looks wide-eyed around the cabin, the details slip away so fast he can't even begin to recall them.

All he can remember is Blair, and the twisting fear and worry in his gut he's felt since the moment this all started is suddenly all consuming.

He _has_ to find her.

He quickly gathers up his small bag and slings it over his shoulder, marching off the train with unwavering determination.

–––

The sun is just disappearing over the horizon when Blair finally collapses under the weight of her heartbreak.

She'd wandered in the general direction of her mother's penthouse for as long as she could keep herself up, but honestly she has no intention of going there. She doesn't know how she'll be able to face anyone after coming up empty handed.

She must have been in denial these last few months; she realizes it now. She'd felt so sure that he was still alive but now she guesses that it was all just denial. She was avoiding this; this feeling of absolute sorrow as her heart shatters into millions of pieces that she knows can never be put back together again.

She falls onto a lonely bench, her whole body shaking with the force of silent sobs that rip through her heart and tear at her soul.

Pulling her hands into her lap, she carefully holds and studies the worn photograph that's been her only companion on this journey. His still face smirks back at her and her heart shatters when she realizes she's never going to see him glare or smirk or laugh ever again. Her fingers trace the outline of his hair and his scarf and she shakes her head dumbly.

This can't be it. It just can't be.

She'd always rolled her eyes when he'd called their love inevitable but deep in her heart she'd _always _believed it to be true. When they were playing games or fighting or when they weren't even speaking, she'd always thought that they were fate. Even after they broke up, after what happened with Jack and then when Jenny, she always thought that some day…

Now there is no more some day.

Blair hugs the photo to her chest as a desperate sob escapes her lips. Collapsing in on herself, she drops her head to her knees as tears rain down at her feet.

"Blair?"

She hears a deep voice call to her from a few feet away and followed by quickly approaches footsteps. Hesitantly she looks up, unwilling to be pulled from her own personal hell just yet. Her mouth drops a little when her eyes land on brown eyes and thick brown hair combed to the side, but his eyes aren't warm enough and his hair is too tamed and her heart aches in her chest.

"Louis?"

* * *

_TBC...?_

_Please let me know if you are reading and what you think. I really appreciate the feedback!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Summary: Chuck is adjusting to his life as Henry when he decides to check GG to see how Blair is on her 20th birthday. What he finds might ruin his new life before it really even gets started._

_Another update very very quickly- very shocking lol. Thank you so so much to everyone that reviewed! I'm glad some people still remember this story! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think! :)_

* * *

5

"Louis?"

His brow is furrowed as he studies her in obvious concern and she quickly looks away. She knows she must look awful. She should probably wipe the tears from her cheeks or straighten out her wrinkled top or brush back her messy hair, but she can't find it in her to care. For the first time in her life her appearance doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

"Blair?" he repeats in confusion. "Are you alright?"

She scoffs and a bitter laugh escapes her quivering lips. "Never better." She sniffles and moves away from him, sliding to the other side of the bench before pushing herself to her feet. Her legs are shaky and she wavers as she stands.

Louis catches her before she falls like all good princes do.

"Here, let me help you," he tells her softly as his arm wraps around her shoulder.

He guides her forward and she follows blindly, her watery eyes glued to the concrete and the staggered steps of her Miu Miu flats. It's not until the tires of his vintage car are in her view and she hears him rattle off the name of her mother's building to his driver that she stops. Abruptly, she rips out of his grasp and pushes him away as hard as she can.

He stumbles back and stares at her wide eyed and she's suddenly indignant. How dare he step in and try to save her. She doesn't need him.

She doesn't need anyone.

And why does he care anyway? They had had one measly dinner together. It was nothing. He hadn't even served the purpose of distracting her from Chuck because that night was when she finally admitted to Serena how heartbroken she really was.

The next day she'd gone to identify his body.

A broken sob escapes her lips.

"Blair," he calls out gently and that's when she sees it; the pity in his eyes. "Please just let me take you home. Let me help…"

"No!" she cries out, her voice cracking. She quickly shakes her head and slaps away his hand as he reaches out to her. "I don't need any help."

She turns away from him, her chin held high even as she stumbles. She has no idea where she's going, but she just can't go to Eleanor's and she's definitely not going to go anywhere with Louis.

She doesn't need _anybody_.

Her face falls, her shoulders slump and her tears fall faster.

She needs Chuck.

Hastily she wipes her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket and ducks into a tavern. The scent of cigarettes and debauchery assaults her senses and she wants to breakdown all over again because it reminds her so much of Chuck that it's almost comforting. All that's missing is the scotch.

Blair sidles up to the bar and doesn't hesitate to order herself a glass of the amber liquid. Wrapping her hands almost protectively around the glass, she breathes in the heady scent before tasting some of the bitter liquid.

Her bottom lip quivers and she leans against the bar, nursing the scotch and silently crying for all that she's lost.

–––

The stars shine down on Chuck as he walks purposefully down the Parisian streets.

His first step had been to check every four or five start hotel in the city. Unfortunately he'd come up empty handed so now he is back to the routine he'd gone through day in and day out for the past week; going from bar to bar trying to find anyone who had seen her. It's a tiring and draining process and he forces himself not to think about how Blair had spent the last three months living like this.

Walking into an establishment, he makes his way to the first employee he sees.

"Excuse me, miss," he charmingly greets one of the waitresses. He pulls out a folded piece of paper from his back pocket, the picture of Blair he had printed off of Gossip Girl, and holds it out to her. "I am wondering if you have seen this woman come in here at all?"

The girl studies the photo and raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, I've seen her."

Chuck immediately perks up. "When?"

"Um.. A few hours ago?" she explains quickly. "She talked to my manager for a few minutes and then just left."

He slips Blair's picture back in his pocket as he absorbs the information. A few hours ago meant she could be anywhere else in the city by now. She is here though; he's finally found her kind of. At least he knows for sure where she is now, all he has to do is locate her.

"Thank you," he smiles at the girl before turning on his heel and walking out of the tavern, a new found hope and relief filling him up.

He pulls out his phone and calls his PI, ready to tell him to concentrate all his efforts on finding Blair in Paris. If everything goes well, hopefully he'll be able to find her before the end of the night and put all his worries to rest.

–––

Three and a half scotches later, Blair stumbles out of the bar and onto the sidewalk.

The dark night that surrounds her is cold and lonely but she's become completely numb to the world around her. Her legs are shaky and her head feels heavy and there's a nauseous feeling in her stomach that makes her wonder when the last time she ate was.

She looks around briefly to see if there is a taxi near by, but quickly changes her mind. It would be good for her to walk back to her motel and get some fresh air. She starts to wander in the direction of her destination, silently planning to order as much room service as possible once she gets back to her room. Then she just wants to sleep.

She's so tired.

Sighing, she tries not to well up as she wonders what will happen when she wakes up tomorrow. She'll have to go home and face everyone looking at her with pity, knowing that they were right the whole time and she was just being hopelessly delusional. And she'll have to do it all alone.

Blair crosses her arms over her chest, hugging herself tight.

She missed Chuck's funeral.

The last thing she told him was to never talk to her ever again.

He died all alone, with no one there to comfort him probably thinking she hated him.

A shaky breath escapes her lips and a lonesome tear slips down her cheek.

Maybe she just won't go to sleep ever again.

A sad smile curls her lips as she starts to cross the street.

She'll stay awake forever and ever and then tomorrow will never have to come. That sounds like a good plan.

–––

Chuck's phone buzzes in his pocket and he jumps to get it, amazed that his PI could have possibly found her so fast. He pulls his cell phone from his pocket but his eyes catch the caller ID before he gets the chance to answer.

Eva.

He stops, frowning as he hesitates to pick it up. A small part of him wants to talk to her, of course, but at the same time a huge part of him doesn't. He's so close to finding Blair, it's as if he can feel her in the air. Suddenly his life as Henry seems like a whole other world; one he's not sure if he wants to go back to.

It's obvious Blair has been sacrificing her life to find him, which he hopes means there is still a spot in her heart for him, but he's spent the last five months of his life with Eva thinking Blair hated him. He thought he was making everything easier for everyone by disappearing, but now that he realizes that might not be the case, he's beyond confused.

He contemplates answering the phone before it suddenly stops ringing in his hand, making the choice for him. Admittedly he's a little relieved as he drops his phone back into his pocket and continues his way down the street.

Stopping at a corner, Chuck looks blankly around him, wondering where he should look next or if he should even call it a night since it's so late. He turns hesitantly in the direction of his hotel when his heart seems to stop in his chest.

Her face is pale and makeup free, her hair hangs limp and dull across her shoulders, and she's wearing _jeans_- but she looks _absolutely_ beautiful.

"Blair…" he breathes out in nothing more than a whisper, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

Butterflies flutter in his stomach and he finds himself unable to do anything but stare at her. She's getting closer and closer as she walks down the side walk towards him, nothing but a cobblestone road separating them. He's mesmerized by the sad aura around her and the melancholy smile on her lips.

Subconsciously, he begins to straighten himself out. He pushes his fingers through his hair and pulls his jacket straight, all the while his heart pounding out of control as he waits for her to notice him.

He anxiously anticipates her eyes landing on him. He longs to see her big, warm brown eyes look into his but her gaze remains downcast.

He furrows his brow as he watches her step off the curb, not even pausing or glancing up.

His blood runs cold as he sees the headlights illuminate her thin frame.

"Blair!"

–––

Her eyes snap up at the sound of her name in _that_ voice and she stops dead in her tracks.

He looks panicked and horrified and as gorgeous as ever, but none of that can be true because he also looks alive.

It can't be. It just _can't_ be.

She's in a daze and too shocked to even respond when an abrupt noise cuts into her thoughts, roaring at her from her side. She reluctantly looks away from the visage of Chuck and turns dumbly towards it.

When she finds herself staring into blinding headlights, it suddenly makes so much sense that she saw him; he must be coming to take her with him to heaven.

She squeezes her eyes shut and waits for the impact but when she's hit, it's not full force with a taxi, but by strong hands shoving her back as hard as possible.

Blair hits the ground so heavily the air leaves her lungs in a big rush. She rolls limply across the cobblestone and hears a sick thud and crunch of glass behind her. Landing on her back, she finds herself staring up at the twinkling stars and gasping for breath. Her vision darks and she has to blink a few times to clear it and keep herself awake.

Chuck saved her. Chuck's_ ghost_ saved her.

Pushing herself up slowly, she ignores her dizziness and looks in confusion at her surroundings.

The taxi is abandoned, the windshield shattered and the hood dented and smashed, with a small group of people congregating a little down the road behind it.

Her brow furrows in uncertainty and she weakly pushes herself to her feet. Slowly and hesitantly she makes her way towards the crowd, her heart pounding out of control.

"Blair!"

She hears _that_ voice again crying out to her, raspy with absolute pain, and suddenly she's shoving people out of her way to get to the middle of the crowd.

Blair gasps when her eyes land on him, tears raining helplessly down her cheeks as she falls to her knees beside him.

His limbs hang at odd angles and there's blood dripping from horrible gash on the side of his head, but somehow a small, grimace of a smile curls his lips at the sight of her.

"Chuck," she whispers uncertainly, her hand reaching out to cup his cheek. Her fingers touch his skin, and it's so warm and rough and real, a sob rips through her from the very depths of her soul. "Oh, Chuck.. Chuck.."

His breath comes out in ragged gasps and he's shaking and twitching through the pain. "Blair.."

"Chuck. You're okay. You're alive," she breathes in disbelief and relief and she almost smiles despite the unfocused quality to his deep hazel eyes. She swallows her emotions back as she studies him. She found him; or rather he found her.. and now…

"Hang on, Chuck," she commands him gently through her tears. "Please, just hang on for me, okay? Please.."

He nods lethargically as he eyes start to droop despite his obvious fight to stay awake. "I'm so- Blair, I-"

She sniffles and brushes back his hair from his forehead comfortingly. "It's okay, Chuck. You'll be okay," she promises him in earnest, hoping with all her heart. Leaning forward she kisses his the corner of his mouth on impulse and her lips tingle and burn at the touch. "I love you," she confesses to him, meaning it with every fiber of her being. All these months, all this searching for him; she knows through and through that he is her whole world. She knew he wasn't gone before and he can't just leave her now. "I love you so much."

He nods slowly, sighing at her touch.

She can hear the sirens approaching from somewhere in the background.

"I- I love you too."

Her heart swells and breaks as she shakes with silent sobs and gently strokes his cheek and kisses the tip of his nose. She stays close to him as she can, too scared to touch his hurting body the wrong way and make it worse, until his eyes fall shut and there are arms around her pulling her away from him.

She watches with her heart in her throat as the paramedics move him and work on him.

All this time, she knew in her heart he was alive and she sees him now and knows he is.

This has to be real; it's too painful to be a dream.

But he's so hurt…

He's hurt because he _saved_ her.

It's too much. It's way too much for her to handle.

Blair cries so hard she can't catch her breath and her heart pounds so forcefully in her chest it feels like she's dying. Her vision starts to tunnel and she feels like she's falling.

Then everything goes blank.

* * *

_TBC...?_

_I would really really appreciate feedback on this chapter. Good, bad or just to say that you are reading. :)_


	6. Chapter 6

_Summary: Chuck is adjusting to his life as Henry when he decides to check GG to see how Blair is on her 20th birthday. What he finds might ruin his new life before it really even gets started._

_AN: Thank you for all the reviews! I sincerely apologize for the time lapse between updates. I hope this flows well with the previous chapters, I'm trying to get back into the groove of this. I'm going to try and update again soon if people are still interested in reading more of this._

* * *

6

Blair blinks her heavy eyelids and winces at the bright fluorescent lights nearly blinding her from above.

"Chuck…" she breathes out dazedly and hopefully as she looks around the room.

She's still in her jeans and sweater, laying on top of the sheets in what she guesses is a hospital bed. She's dizzy and there's a nauseous sinking in her stomach, but as she becomes more and more aware of where she is and why, she instantly puts all of that aside.

"Chuck," she calls out into the empty room, her mind flashing with visions of him in pain as he bled onto the cobblestone street.

She has to find him.

She needs to make sure he didn't leave her again.

Blair pushes herself to sit up and swings her legs over the side of the bed as gingerly as possible. There's a tug on her hand and she flinches at the small jolt. Looking down, she finds an IV in her hand. She bites her lip and doesn't think twice before practically ripping it out of her skin. She ignores the small amount of blood and the stinging pain and stands.

The room seems to spin a little around her and she sways on her feet. She takes a few deep breaths though and soon she regains her bearings and feels steadier. She steps forward and reaches for the handle on the door of the small room, but it swings open on its own before she can grasp it.

There's a nurse eying her in surprise on the other side and Blair frowns when she rolls her eyes.

"Miss, you need to lie back down," the woman commands, walking forward and wrapping her arm around Blair's shoulders. She tries to lead her back to the bed, but Blair refuses, shoving the nurse away.

"No," Blair responds strongly, shaking her head. "No. No.. I.. I need to find Chuck. Where is Chuck?"

The nurse furrows her brow in thought before she seems to get it. "The boy you were brought in with?"

Blair nods, her eyes shining with hope of news on his condition.

"He's still being worked on, so if you would just lie down…"

She shakes her head and sighs in frustration at the obvious brush off.

"You were brought in here severely dehydrated, after suffering a very serious panic attack. You need rest."

"No, I don't need rest," she argues back vehemently. "I need to get out of here and be with Chuck."

"I assure you, miss," the nurse tells her shortly, "you won't be able to see him for awhile, probably hours, so you should just…"

Blair crosses her arms and glares at the woman until she finally snaps.

"Fine," the woman growls, giving up, "but a doctor will need to examine you before I can release you. So you'll have to wait until one is available."

Taking a breath, Blair shrugs. As long as she get out of this room, she decides to concede to the woman in front of her. Plus if a doctor comes she can ask them about Chuck since they would probably know more than this clearly incompetent nurse.

The nurse leaves in a huff and closes the door behind her, leaving Blair alone once again.

She turns back towards the bed. Admittedly, she is exhausted but she is so panicked and emotionally wrought that she can't even consider trying to sleep. The roller coaster her emotions went through in the span of only 5 minutes just hours ago is overwhelming. It's too much for her to handle; not on her own.

She spies the manilla hospital phone sitting on the bedside table and she instantly reaches for it.

She thinks about calling Nate because he's Chuck's best friend, but she hasn't talked to him since a week after the funeral. She'd begged Nate to come help her find Chuck and he'd just ended up hanging up on her. She thinks about calling Serena, but they hadn't really talked in months other than when Serena would call begging her to give up and come home. She even thinks about calling Lily; she is basically Chuck's mother and she would want to know that Chuck is alive, but Blair doesn't feel like she can hold it together enough to answer all the questions she knows she'll ask.

In the end, though, she calls the only person she knows will be there for her no matter what and who can be there soon.

"Hello?"

She takes a shaky breath, tears forming in her big brown eyes. "Daddy…"

"Blair?" her father breathes out desperately on the other end of the line. "Oh my god, sweetheart.."

"Yeah, Daddy. It's me…" she assures him softly, feeling a little guilty for all the worrying she's put him through these last few months. "Listen, I'm-"

"Blair, you can't do that. You can't just disappear without a trace, not telling anyone where you are and without a cell phone so you have no means to call for help, let alone let anyone know you are safe," her father admonishes, his voice wrought with a mix of relief and anger. "You are safe aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. I'm fine," she tells him as she looks around the stark white room. "But I am in the hospital right now…"

"The hospital?" her father repeats in distress.

"But I promise I'm okay," she reassures him. "I haven't felt this good in months." Blair takes a deep breath, biting her lip as a slow smile spreads across her face. "I found him, Daddy. I found him."

"What happened? Why are you in the hospital?"

"Didn't you hear me?" Blair asks with a small laugh. "I found Chuck." She hears her father sigh on the other end of the line and her smile fades. "What? I'm serious- I did. I'm not being delusional or crazy or..."

"It's not that Blair-Bear, I believe you," Harold soothes her. "But I already knew Chuck was okay."

Her brow furrows in confusion. "But... how?"

"He called Lily the night of your birthday. We all tried to call you but..."

"...I threw out my phone," she finishes for him quietly, a guilty pit forming in her stomach.

"When we couldn't get a hold of you, Chuck went looking for you. Apparently he was finally able to find you."

Blair chews on her lip and looks down at the ground, unable to speak. She feels overwhelmingly guilty for spending the last few weeks off the radar now and also a horrible sense of responsibility for Chuck being injured as well.

"Where are you, sweetheart?" Harold asks gently after a long moment of silence. "What hospital are you in?"

She mindlessly reads the name of the Parisian hospital off the sticker on the manilla colored phone.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?" Harold assures her gently. "I love you."

Blair takes a deep breath. "I love you, too," she responds quietly. Slowly, she reaches to hang up the phone when a sudden thought occurs to her. "Daddy?" she calls out, quickly bringing the phone back to her ear. "Could you call Lily for me? Chuck is hurt... and... I can't..."

"Of course, Blair-Bear," he quickly assures her. "I'll be there soon."

She finally hangs up the phone and lets out a long sigh.

Her emotions are so frayed she can't even begin to process it all. She is so relieved that Chuck is alive and that her father is on his way, but at the same time she's so scared for for Chuck's well being and she feels so guilty, like it is all her fault.

She refuses to give in to her urges to breakdown and cry though. She is stronger than that. Yes, she had spent the previous 24 hours distraught, thinking that Chuck had been dead, but now she knows he isn't. The whole time she had been looking for him, she never once broke because she had only herself to rely on, she didn't have a choice. Now can't give in again. Now she has a reason to be strong again.

–––

The loud, strained ring of the phone breaks into the dark stillness of the small apartment.

The blond rolls over tiredly in the bed in the midst of another sleepless night in a bed that has never felt emptier. She blindly reaches for the phone, hoping to hear the low rasp of a voice she misses so much greeting her.

"Salut?"

"Eva Coupeau?"

"Yes, this is her," she answers as she pushes herself to sit up in bed, helpless worry building in her stomach at the strange woman's voice. Eva listens with bated breath as she goes on about broken bones and head injuries and _Henry_.

She hangs up the phone and jumps from the bed, barely pausing to pull on her coat and shoes before rushing out the door and onto the Parisian streets, needing to get to the hospital and to Henry's side as quickly as possible.

–––

There's a soft knock on the door and Blair looks up as it slowly pushes open and a tall, male doctor walks in.

She remains relatively silent, her mind going a mile a minute, as the doctor checks her over; testing her breathing, measuring her heart rate and shining a light in her eyes.

"You need to keep yourself hydrated and get as much rest as possible, no over exerting yourself," the doctor explains, while jotting down some notes. "And try to keep calm. You're likely to feel a little frazzled from your panic attack still so.."

"Yeah, yeah, I get," Blair brushes him off with an eye roll, unable to keep quiet and polite any longer. "Can you tell me anything about how Charles Bass is doing?"

The man's face contorts in confusion. "Charles Bass?"

"The man who was hit by a car. I assume we were probably brought in together."

Recognition suddenly dawns on his face. "Oh yes. Mr. Prince should be out of surgery soon, but he will be put into intensive care once he is out of recovery."

"Wait- Mr. Prince? That man was Chuck Bass, not a Chuck Prince or whatever."

"The ID we found on him said Henry Prince so I'm not sure who exactly you are talking about," the doctor explains, looking at her in question. "Did we check you for any head injuries, Ms. Waldorf?"

Blair huffs in frustration. "I didn't hit my head. I just-" she pauses, stopping herself from going off on the man in front of her. "Am I free to go?"

"Yes, I'll release you. You'll just have to sign a few papers at the front desk."

"Thank you," she mutters snottily at the obviously inept doctor. "Can you tell me where I can wait for the man I was brought in with?"

"Third floor."

Blair doesn't even hesitate before pushing herself up from the bed and quickly exit the room, needing to get Chuck's side as soon as possible.

* * *

_TBC...?_

_I really appreciate any feedback on this story. It means alot! :)_


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